Chef and cooking jokes

Sad to say, I had a hard time finding any good ones. Here's one.

The blonde man was crying at the bar, and the bartender gave him a free drink. "What's the trouble?" asked the friendly bartender.

"I got kicked out of chef school," replied the blonde. "They said I gave them the oldest excuse in the book, and all I did was tell the truth."

"What did you say?" asked the bartender.

To which the chef student answered, "I told them my dog ate my homework."

Check out this website for more jokes on cooking or chefs. I think that we chefs, and foodies, have to do better with respect to chef jokes and food service jokes. We surely can't let the philosophers beat us. And besides, I'm tired of the "fly in my soup" varieties.

Know any good jokes? I'm all ears and just in case you don't here's your challenge. Complete the following jokes:

Q: How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?
A:

Q: How many chefs does it take to change a light bulb?
A:

Q: How many restaurant owners does it take to change a light bulb?
A:

Q: How many celebrity chefs who never cook does it take to change a light bulb?
A:

Get back to me with the answers and you might win accolades and prizes. Or not. Hey, at least it's not a fly in my soup joke.